


Tidal Wave

by hazellepotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fear, Hope, Insecurity, Loss, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Passion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 07:56:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazellepotter/pseuds/hazellepotter
Summary: The words echoed loudly in Draco’s brain. They rattled the shackles of the barriers he had put up for so long, but now they were breaking free. He no longer could control the wave of emotions that were flowing out of him.





	Tidal Wave

**All Draco could focus on was his heart beating in his chest.** It was so deafening that he could no longer hear Harry calling his name or feel him shaking his shoulders. The fact that Harry was even there was remarkable, but the worried expression on Harry’s face finally snapped him back into reality.

“Draco!? Draco? Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

Draco blinked a few times and felt a tear slip down his cheek. He wasn’t even aware that he was crying. He brushed it away quickly with the back of his palm and quickly looked away from Harry’s gaze.

“I- _yeah_ , I will be alright. I will be. These things take time, right?”

“Draco, _you just lost your mum._ I’m so sorry I didn’t make it in time to save her. If I would have known sooner-”

But Draco stopped him from rambling any further.

“The Auror’s Office wouldn’t have gotten all the information in time. This was unexpected. I didn’t even know it was going to happen this way. Don’t blame yourself.”

“ _But Draco_ ,” Harry said weakly, “I’m your _friend._ I tried to pay more attention to this case. I should have known. I’m sorry, _I’m so sorry._ ”

The word **friend** sliced through Draco’s chest, and he could feel his blood pouring out. It was like sectumsempra all over again, but this time, there wouldn’t be an external scar to show for it. It would only be internal for him to see.

He had wished to be Harry’s friend for years, and when it finally happened, that’s when Draco realized that he didn’t want to just be Harry’s friend. _He never had._ All his conflicted emotions throughout his Hogwarts years finally made sense, and he accepted the hard truth that he was in love with Harry Potter. **He always had been.** He wished those words made him feel better, but they didn’t. It was just another reminder of what could never be. He would endure more than one loss today.

He was absorbed in his feelings until he felt Harry’s rough hand clasp around his wrist. Draco dared to look up and meet his eye. He wished he hadn’t, because the look in Harry’s eyes were making him fall apart. It made him think about things other than his mum’s death, and that made him feel selfish. _He should be mourning her loss right now, not the loss of something that could never be._

“What can I do for you?” Harry asked desperately, “I just want to make the pain go away.”

Draco swallowed the remaining saliva in his throat; his mouth was so dry that his voice came out raspy.

“This pain will never go away,” Draco told him honestly, “Neither pain will.”

Harry raised his brows in confusion; Draco swore he saw tears forming in his eyes.

“Neither pain?” Harry asked, “What else are you referring to?”

Draco closed his eyes and focused on his pulse beating against Harry’s fingers. He wondered if Harry could feel it, too.

 _It was now or never._ He knew it would ultimately end up in more loss, but after his mother’s death, maybe he didn’t deserve to feel any happiness. Maybe he deserved not to feel any hope. After-all, it was his fault she was now lying dead in his manor with no hope of return.

**_“I’m in love with you.”_ **

The words echoed loudly in Draco’s brain. They rattled the shackles of the barriers he had put up for so long, but now they were breaking free. He no longer could control the wave of emotions that were flowing out of him.

“I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just wouldn’t let myself accept it, and sometimes, I _still_ wish I hadn’t let myself accept it. Because all this causes me now is useless hope and misery. Someone like you can never learn to love someone like me. You are so pure. Harry, you’re so good, and all I cause is destruction in my path. All I represent is loss and cowardice. You deserve someone whole, someone who is not afraid to live. _I’m afraid to live, I always have been._ I have always known loving you would bring me life, and I think that’s why I have denied my feelings for so long.”

Harry was stunned to complete silence. Draco counted the seconds no words were spoken.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven._

He watched as Harry took a deep breath. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed and the feel of his hand letting go of his wrist was enough to let Draco know that what he thought was true. _His emotions would be the death of him._ They always took over his psyche and made him lose control.

“I don’t know what to say,” Harry finally confessed,  _“But I know what I need to do.”_

Draco tried to swallow, but there was no longer saliva in his throat. So he just watched Harry with fearful and expectant eyes.

_What happened next happened so slowly that Draco was sure his heart was going to stop._

Harry took a step forward and brought his left hand up to Draco’s cheek. He wiped away his remaining tears with the pad of his thumb, and Draco closed his eyes and thought about stepping away. But he couldn’t even if he let himself try.

Harry’s free hand gently grabbed Draco’s waist and pulled him forward so their chests were nearly touching. 

_What was happening? Was he finally going to put him out of his misery? Was he going to kill him slowly and let him feel the pain he had tried to repress for so long?_

Draco couldn’t open his eyes. He was too afraid. As always, he was a coward.

But when he felt Harry’s heart and ragged breath against his lips, he couldn’t help but take a peak.

Harry’s green eyes were staring at him with such intensity, that Draco felt like he was going to explode. Draco knew this look all too well, but it was never directed towards him. It was always directed towards the things Harry felt the need to protect. It made Draco’s breath hitch.

**_“Can I kiss you?”_ **

The question came out as a whisper. Draco wasn’t sure he had heard him right. He was pretty sure he was hearing his heart’s deepest desire.

 _“What?”_ Draco breathed.

“Can I kiss you, Draco?” Harry asked again.

His voice was soft, but it was unafraid. Draco watched as Harry eyed his lips.

He couldn’t answer him with words, so he just nodded.

As Harry’s lips crashed against his, a tidal wave of emotions hit him once again. 

_Fear. Joy. Loss. Pain. Happiness. Regret. **Hope.**_

Harry’s kiss was as desperate as Draco had always felt. His hands moved up Draco’s body and found their way into his hair. Draco moaned against Harry’s lips and couldn’t help but think that he needed _more, more, more._

Draco was the first to pull away, and he hadn't realized he was crying again until the sobs wracking out of his body became uncontrollable.

Harry held him as he collapsed to the ground. He could feel Harry’s own tears hitting his forehead. Draco never wanted to leave Harry’s arms. He wanted to hide in his shoulder forever and breathe in his scent like it was his last lifeline.

Then he heard Harry’s strong voice whisper in his ear. _His words would be his salvation._

**“I love you, too.”**


End file.
